“I live with a mother who constantly reproaches me. So I will never find my husband «

30 Nov “I live with a mother who constantly reproaches me. So I will never find my husband «

I am 36 years old . I have a son 11 years old. We live in a private house with parents. No husband. I constantly work, so my son is almost from birth with my grandmother. I am an epileptic from 6 years old, to 20 years old was also under my mother’s guardianship. I am an uncertain, modest, shy and notorious woman.

I clean, cook on the weekend, try to engage in my son and sometimes devote time to myself (but this is rare). But mom constantly yells – everything is wrong for her. At the same time, my mother has repeatedly threw phrases like: “I’m afraid for my grandson, you will find a man and throw him”. I don’t understand how it came to her head!

I almost do not leave the house – only a couple of times a month with girlfriends to meet, and all. When I was at least on a date last time

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? I don’t remember.

Today my mother said to me: “You only work for yourself. Come and go to work «. Apparently, she wants money from me, because I pay only meals for now. The salary is small. In addition, it so happened that I took a loan while there was no work. And mom, instead of supporting, said that I would never pay with debts.

I’m desperate. Men do not need a tired woman mired in everyday life. By the way, brother and sister calmly live their life. What to do? Please, help.

Ekaterina, 36 years old

Catherine, the situation is not easy. There are so many things at once, and you are alone. But let’s try to figure out the steps. First of all, if you decide that you are really ready for changes, you must start with yourself. While you live with your parents, it will most likely be difficult to somehow disperse with your mother and focus on yourself.

If there is the possibility of moving, you should think about it. If not, start with your own boundaries. You do not live in care, you work, provide yourself and your son – this is a considerable merit, do not devalue it.

Everything related to endless life – you are forced to do it? Or you are guilty of your mother? This often happens with a powerful maternal figure with which there was no separation. You are already a mother itself, and although for your parents you will always be a child, you should not try to be good for them, please, please and try to earn approval. Your life does not depend on how your mother relates to you. In childhood, we all dependent on parents, but growing up, we gain the opportunity to take care of ourselves on our own.

Brother and sister live their lives, you write. What feelings about this? Maybe you are offended by them or evil? Maybe you need their help and support? How and from whom do you even get support? Who tells you kind words, who sympathizes?

Being in a difficult situation, being ready for the beginning of changes, you will enlist the support of loved ones: despite the fact that we go through the path, it is difficult to survive such a period alone.

To better understand where to move, I propose to fulfill the following equipment. Try to imagine the life of dreams. What is she? What are you there? Where, with whom do you live, what do you do, how you look, how your day goes? Do not restrain your imagination: imagine from the bottom of my heart.

After try to imagine what this “Catherine of Dreams” would advise you right now to become closer to her? And start to slowly follow these tips.