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You have three options: (1) leave now; (2) give it some time; (3) stay no matter what

Your spouse needs to work alone on his/her own changes, so you need to move deliberately away from your relationship, whether that means separation or divorce

  • Is there an obvious shift toward honesty, or are there still cover-ups and lies?
  • Does their confession include information you did not know, or only admitting to what you found out?
  • Does your spouse show genuine remorse for the behavior, or just sorry for getting caught?
  • Does your spouse accept full responsibility, or make excuses?
  • When confronted with your pain, does your spouse respond with empathy, or defensiveness?
  • Is your spouse willing to do the work of repairing trust, or are you expected to just get over it?
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