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"I was blissfully in love. Then I found his Adult Match Maker account."

Ah, the digital age. These days, it seems like every second person has met their partner online. Tinder. Plenty of Fish. eHarmony. Whatever floats your boat.

I had always refused to jump on the digital dating bandwagon. While I was eternally single, I believed in real life romance; in ‘what's meant to be'. I believed that I would bump into The One at a party or a pub, at the gym or the grocers. Not Tinder.

But, after moving to a small town, being cat-called in the street and propositioned at the pub, I decided it was time to take hold of my destiny. My real life love story did not exist. It was time to investigate other avenues. So I installed Tinder.

At first, I was honestly just looking; lamenting the quantity and quality of the single men in my area. Until one popped up that wasn't like the others.

He didn't have any dead pigs. He didn't have an Akubra hat. He didn't even have a small-town country job. He was different. WHAT ON EARTH WAS HE DOING ON TINDER?

"I'm A Man, Let Me Into The Ladies Lounge"

Like any woman, I flicked through his photos, read far too into his bio and hunted him down on Facebook. I stalked him, his siblings, his parents, his colleagues, his friends and his friends' girlfriends' neighbours' brother. I scrolled through every photo and every Happy Birthday post since he was born. As far as I could see, he had no wife, children, girlfriend or boyfriend.

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