17 Abr It is all about the attribution worth focusing on, both in the ability to love as well as the capability to negotiate
Peterson: These are papers, your argued that individuals is to go three “relationship competence behaviors” before relationship. Could you unpack such a little while?
Carroll: Sure, you to definitely paper most makes on Luciano L'Abate's notice-bonnet design. Love would be damaged with the “passion for notice” and “passion for others.” “Passion for notice” isn't regarding worry about-regard, but much more about “private cover,” that requires emotional stability, safer connection, and worry about-worth. We explain “love of anyone else” since the “others-centeredness,” that involves developing the ability to consider other people as important and you will spending and you may enjoyable with these people in manners that know you to strengths. These are all the key predictors out-of marital achievement. dos
Versus connection, there isn't any instance question because the a beneficial 'really a good relationships
Strengthening on this subject foundation of like is the ability to promote and negotiate, the date Moldovan ladies for marriage desire of a lot regarding John Gottman's works. All couples sense distinctions conducive to help you dispute. Certain would which with techniques that actually draw them nearer together, while others put on habits out of issue, defensiveness, and you can contempt that may eventually corrode the matchmaking. Good negotiation starts with getting a great, empathetic listener. Right here, it isn't just, “did We hear better?” it’s “do you become paid attention to?” There's also a form of art to delivering obvious communication.